Another OC Centered KH Fic
by Reds Owshad Dark
Summary: A parody of all those fics we all have nightmares about. You know. The ones where the wonderful writer inserts their wonderful self and wonderful friends into the game and does everything and everyone loves them and stuff? Yeah you know.'Cept with a twist
1. C1: Ahoy

Kingdom Hearts is Enix's crap. But this is my own idea thingy... though probably not extraordinarily original. Eh. Whatever. Chapter One Ahoy!!!!

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Chapter One

Ahoy

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"Damn it." _Clickity click click click click cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick_. "DAMN IT!" _THUD_. "OW!!!!!"

"Reds you better not be throwing the keyboard around again!" Enigma sighed, glancing at the closet. "You know it will just ricochet off the walls and hit you."

"DAMN IT ENIGMA SHUT UP!" A voice yelled from the closet. Enigma shrugged and turned back to his D&D books, taking a sip of milk from a mug set on a table in front of him.

"Suit yourself." He responded, flipping through the pages of the player's handbook version 3.5. "What's eating you anyways?"

A growl emitted from the closed door. "I'm trying to write, you know?" A voice echoed from inside.

"Yes, yes. You keep saying stuff about 'I need to write' and 'I haven't put anything up for months' and 'Maybe if I try real hard the block will go away', but you really haven't told me what the hell you've been up to." Enigma pointed out dully. He sighed and closed his book, placed it on top of one of many piles and grabbed another. "It'd be nice to know what my own sister is doing."

The room was silent for a while with nothing but the sounds of furious typing and slow occasional page turning echoing around the room.

"I'm trying to write Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, but I can't come up with anything original or funny." Reds finally answered.

Enigma snorted. "Do a stupid parody of the fandom. We both know that you can't come up with funny or original for your life."

"Yeah. Like all my other fics. I'll do a parody again when the world ends." Reds remarked sarcastically.

Enigma shrugged. All the sudden the lights in the room flickered out. The window that was wide open in the middle of the day let no light come through. Enigma heard Reds curse from the closet but ignored it and ran to the window to looked out. His mouth hung open.

"The power went off!" Reds yelled angrily from her closet.

"There are worst things then that, Reds. Come out of the closet. Now." Enigma said in monotone.

Reds blinked. Enigma hadn't bothered telling her to leave the closet in years. She grabbed the doorknob and hesitantly opened the door. She looked through the darkness and saw Enigma by the window. "What's wrong?" Enigma didn't move. "Enigma?"

"Come look." He didn't move and his voice didn't change from the calm monotone but Reds knew something was wrong. She crossed the room and looked out and into the sky.

"Oh great gods and magic... we're screwed. I'd go type something up but the computer's lost."

"Your sense of humor is as disturbing as mine."

"If it wasn't how would I survive in a closet without losing my mind?"

"You're still sane?"

"I... shut up."

Enigma smirked. "So what do you wanna do before we all die and turn into heartless?"

Reds shrugged. "I'd say D&D but we've never managed to even begin a game."

"Same. And the TV's probably broken too..." Enigma mused.

"We could always run out side yelling 'It's the end of the world! Sinners repent!' and join all the hobo's that always believed it."

"Or we could play checkers."

"Checkers sounds good." And thus a heated game of checkers went on right until the second Earth was swallowed by darkness along with all of its inhabitants, scary fangirls and all.

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Reds blinked. "Wait a damn second I'm dead! How am I blinking!!!" Obviously she didn't realize she was a nobody.

"Wait I'm a nobody now?" Well yeah. I mean in EVERY parody the author get nobody-ified.

"I don't think that's a word." Shut up. "Stupid disembodied voice." A brick fell on Reds' head at that moment.

"OW! SHIT! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?" Giggles and shit. "I hate you." You know the story would move faster if you didn't actually hear me anymore... "Don't I have to go through a deepdive first?" Eh. We'll just say you did. "Works for me." And with that Reds no longer heard voices in her head. Good for her.

"Now then. Guess I join the organization 13 or something." Reds pondered aloud. "Hmmm... wonder how Enigma's fairing."

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Elsewhere

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Enigma blinked. "Eh. Time to check my pulse." And he did. "Oh goodie. I have a pulse. SO I MUST HAVE A KEYBLADE!!!" And so he did. "NOW TIME TO ROB OLD LADIES!!!" And so he did.

---

"Eh. Maybe he's a nobody too. I mean its not like he can use a keyblade. You have to be a good guy to use a keyblade." Reds reasoned.

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Elsewhere

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Riku sneezed. Diz looked over at the cloaked figure. "God bless you. What was that about?"

"No idea. Time to beat up more unsuspecting children. Like that Roxas kid."

---

Reds sighed. "Well whatever he's up to is better than me. I mean I'm kinda stuck in the middle of nowhere that hasn't been described to anyone because a) the author is lazy or b) the author can't write. I mean how many damn fanfictions are there that have no description of the setting!?! At least half of the damn fandom- wait a second is that a high school?"

And indeed it was. A high school popped out of absolutely no where. Reds stared. "Huh. I feel like I'm in a purposely bad fanfiction. Eh, might as well go there and see if anyone else is there." and so she did.

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Chapter End

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Okay people, sorry this is so poorly written. The next chapter I promise I will write much better but I'm trying to come out of a block and would prefer not to risk one of my existing fics (none of which are Kingdom Hearts). Oh and yes I made Riku and Diz look like jerks cause in fiction they tend to be depicted as just that. And they are jerks if you think about it.

And yes Enigma is a rip off of Riku, except much MUCH more violent. And funny.

And if you too wish to be part of this fic contact me. I need 12 others to parody the organization 13 (I'm gonna be a rip off of Xaldin. Cept with a stick.) a Sora, Kairi, and Xenahort.

Love you guys!


	2. C2: Why I Fail at Life

Kingdom Hearts ain't mine. So quit chur bitchin'. May belongs to May, Reds belongs to me, and Enigma belongs to Enigma. No wait. He belongs to me too.

Oh and a warning I guess. If you are offended by the mention of curses, drugs or sex don't read. Cause this chapter has a lot of curses and the words "sex", "drugs", and "high" in it. Just a heads up.

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Chapter 2: Why I Fail at Life

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Reds shoved her hands into her jean pockets and walked up to the school with slight hesitation.

"Why does this suddenly feel like a really bad idea?" She asked herself.

"Hey you! Kid!" Reds whipped around as a man dressed up in a suit walked up to her.

"Huh?" She muttered in confusion.

"What the hell are you doing?! Get in your damned class like you're suppose to! You're fucking late as it is!" The man snapped. Reds blinked as she noticed it was Cid Highwind.

"Dude. Chillax, mmmkay? I don't go to this school." Reds stated as she watch Cid with mild amusement. If he was mad before he was downright pissed now.

"You think you can mess around with me you fucking punk? I'm the god damn Principle. If you don't go to your fucking class now you'll get a fucking deans detention." He growled. Reds lifted an eyebrow.

"Punk? Do I look like I wear crappy clothes to you-oh wait a tick." She looked down. Ripped jeans and a T-shirt that she wrote 'I'm not high' on in a bright pink marker. "Eh. That's what you get for living in a closet and not being able to see a damn thing. Kinda punkish. But I'm not a-"

"Get to your shitting class!" The man yelled, his voice raising a pitch in anger. Reds obliged by running down the hallway and turning into the first room she came up to.

---

Reds blinked as an entire class stared at her.

"Yo." She responded somewhat sheepishly. The teacher walked up to her. She suddenly realized it was Cloud Strife. 'Yeah. This is definitely bad fanfiction. I'm pretty damn sure nobody in avalanche has a teaching degree.'

"First day of school and you're late to class. I hope your attendance will improve as time continues, Miss-" He looked at his clip board. "Dark-"

"No need to be formal with me teach-wait a tick. How do you know my name?" Reds slipped behind Cloud to read the clipboard over his shoulder. As she read down the list of names saw the name Infrareds Dark on the paper before he could react.

"Miss Dark to your seat please!" The Cloud half yelled, quite flustered from his student's lack of respect.

"I, uh... okiedokie." Reds mumbled and chuckled nervously as she walked to her seat, all eyes on her. Some kids giggled 'and whispered. Reds thought she heard 'What an idiot. This kid's gonna be a riot' but ignored it. She groaned slightly to herself.

The Cloud cleared his throat and silence fell about the room. "Welcome to Destiny High.(Reds almost face palmed herself at this_ 'Oh gods I'm in fanfiction hell') _As freshmen this is obviously your first time in the building for those of you that aren't repeating. _('Wait a tick I'm a __sophomore__... and why is he looking at me-god damn it I'm not a failing student!'_)As your first period teacher I have the obligation to tell you the general rules of the building. No gum in classes, no hats in class, _dress __appropriately_ (Reds looked at her shirt and chuckled nervously), no running in halls and no sex or drugs in the bathroom. _('Once again why is he looking at me? I don't smell like pot_.') Now on with my own classroom rules..."

Reds sighed and stared out the window as the teacher droned on. She rested her face on her hand and soon found her eyes drooping._ 'So damn bright. Must keep eyes open. Don't fall asleep. Is that a butterfly? Zzzzzzz'_

Reds was suddenly brought back to consciousness as everyone in the room scrambled to get out and she quickly stood up herself and ran towards the door. _'Please don't have noticed, please don't have noticed.'_

"Miss Dark if you wouldn't mind stay after class." _'God damn it.'_

"Yes Mr. Strife, dude?" Reds said turning around from the door and walking towards the teacher. She flinched at the evilest of glares he was giving her.

"I hope you will not be trouble throughout the year."

"Course not! See ya!" And Reds ran out the door before he could say a word. _'Heh. Stupid bastard.'_

---

The day went as good as a first day of high school could go, with all the teachers telling you the same exact thing as the last and giving you a list of a bizillion binders to buy which you'd only buy two of anyways and just leave them home and put all your papers directly into the backpack.

Reds was kind of surprised that ever classroom she walked into was the right one. So when she decided lunch would be good at 5th period she walked into the lunch room.

There was a surprising amount of kids there. But then again it was either eat in the cafeteria or try to find someplace in the void outside. She sat down at an empty table and sighed. _'How the crap am I gonna get out of this place?'_ Suddenly she blinked as she noticed someone in front of her.

"Can I help you?" She muttered without looking up.

"Yeah Reds. I was wondering if you knew what the fuck was going on." Reds blinked and looked up to find-

"MAY-CHAN!!!!" She yelled glomping her friend to the ground and knocking over the table in the process.

"STUPID BITCH GET OFF!!!" May yelled back, punching Reds in the gut. May stood up as her friend writhed on the floor. "But I guess you don't know what happened either."

"Oh no. I do! You see, Earth was eaten by darkness so now we're nobodies! Isn't that great!" Reds yelled and then covered her mouth. Everyone in the room looked horrified except for May who looked ready to murder Reds. "Oppies."

The kids in the cafeteria suddenly turned violent. "It's a pair of nobodies! Get 'em!" They yelled and grabbed random objects to beat the two with.

Reds jumped up and grabbed May as she dashed out of the room.

---

May struggled in Reds' grip. "Let go! I'm gonna kill them!"

"Not a chance. Too many. Not unless you know your element and weapon." Reds yelled over her shoulder.

"Then what do you suggest? Keep running? They're catching up, you know." May snarled sarcastically. Reds was suddenly hit with a potentially bad idea. She made a dark portal which she jumped into with May to god knows where.

---

May spazzed a bit. "What the hell was THAT?!?" She yelled at Reds. Reds smiled.

"Dark portal made with... darkness." Reds said simply. "I forgot you didn't actually get the second game of Kingdom Hearts."

May dusted herself off. "Oh is that all?"

"You know what a nobody is right?" Reds asked.

"Yeah. You've told me." May said.

"Oh goodie. Let's see what our weapons are." Reds held her hands out in front of her and willed a weapon to appear. There was a flash of light and-

"Your weapon's a stick." May said in a bored tone.

"It's called a bo. It's a battle staff." Reds defended.

"A pretty bow for a pretty girl." May tease. "It's a fucking stick."

"Well let's see what yours is." Reds growled changing the subject. May shrugged, concentrated and with a flash-

"Heh. A board with a nail in it." Reds said stifling inevitable laughter. The board floated that in front of May inched closer to Reds as she broke into giggles. Suddenly it slammed down on top of her head causing Reds to fall to the ground.

May smirked. "Heh. That's useful."

"Stupid bitch."

"Where are we anyways?" May asked. Reds looked around. It was a forest with a mansion not too far from where they were standing.

"Eh. Looks like Twilight Town."

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I originally had no cannons in this chapter because I didn't know anyone from Kingdom Hearts that seemed like they had a teacher's degree. Then I said logical? THIS IS FANFICTION. And so I stuck FF7 characters in there. I know. It still sucks. It will get better really soon. Hopefully next chapter.

May is a friend of mine that I've put in a previous fic. She's fun to write for simply cause she's so bloody violent. Space is still open for those who wanna show up.

Oh and apparently people don't tend to review unless I ask so here I go.

Please review. PLEASE!!! With sugar on top? I'd really appreciate it. Even if all you have to say is "you suck." Review!!!


	3. C3: Insanely Odd

Insanely Odd... I like it! Thanks Mini!!

Kingdom Hearts Belongs to those people that ain't me. So yeah. All characters belong to themselves. And I am no one's bitch.

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Chapter 3 Insanely Odd Encounters

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"Twilight Town?" May asked skeptically.

"Yes, yes. Look, just trust me on this n00b. I know what I'm talking about this time." Reds retorted in mild annoyance.

"Did you just call me a n00b?" May asked offended. A plank of wood popped out of nowhere warning Reds that she was treading on thin ice.

"No. I said May. God. Are you half deaf or somethun?" Reds said, catching herself. "Come on. Let's get to town and... uh... do stuff."

May raised an eyebrow. "I'll ignore the fact that you just changed the topic if I get to beat someone up."

Reds sighed. "Why do you always...? Never mind. Maybe if we're lucky we'll run into Siefer. Or Pence."

"Who-?" May started to ask, but then stopped. Getting any sense out of Reds was half impossible. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's get going."

---

Reds chuckled nervously as she her May growl in frustration. They walked towards the sandlot.

"You said they'd be people to kill."

"I said 'if we're lucky.' And I never said kill." Reds corrected. "God, May you have a one tracked mind."

"If I don't get to take out my anger on someone in the next minute, you're gonna wish you were never born." May snarled. Reds shuttered.

"What is with you and violence? I swear to magic and high fantasy..."

May snorted. "You and your magic. That's what you get for living in a damned closet. You're a freak."

"And yet you love me. Is it my natural charm? My outstanding charisma?-"

"The fact that your mind bogglingly stupid, easy to beat up, and do just about anything I tell you to?" May finished sarcastically.

"What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Gay." May stated simply.

"Well yeah. That too, kinda. But still you know I'm horrible at fighting, even if I tried." Reds whined.

May blinked. "Did you just say that you're..." She stared at Reds for a moment. "Eh never mind. Yeah. We both know you suck at fighting. The only thing your any what good at is talking your way in and out of trouble."

"That's how I pass school half the time." Reds sighed happily. "And get you out of crazy 'I'm gonna kill everyone' mode. Like now."

May's response was slamming her board into Reds' head and walking on without her.

"May-chan!!! Wait! I didn't mean to get you angry!" Reds yelled running to catch up with May.

"Um excuse me!" A feminine voice called out from behind the two, making Reds and May stop in their traces and turn around. The owner of the voice was a blue eyed, blonde girl in a cute, but way too short frilly, pink skirt and a white tank top. In her hand was a keyblade which had a heart-shaped handle and overall was a shiny, pink color. Reds decided she couldn't be any older than 15.

"Er..." Reds stood there stunned. She glanced back at May to see her shielding her eyes from the blinding pinkness of the girl's outfit. "Yes'mmm?"

The girl giggled shyly and walked forward a few steps. "I'm looking for a boy called Roxas. He's my friend, you see. I need to warn him of impending doom." Reds and May flinched back finding her voice way too bubbly and heartwarming. May hissed.

"AH... that's... nice. Touching. Very." Reds replied scrambling for words. "Would-would you mind backing up a bit? You're giving me really bad vibes."

The girl gasped and walked backwards. "I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I hope I'm not causing trouble..." May's eye twitched.

"Could you stop it. All your innocent, naivety is getting to me." May growled. The girl looked on the verge of tears.

"Um, eh heh heh." Reds decided it would be good to intervene at this point. "Let's change the subject. I'm sorry but we haven't seen any one called Roxas around. We're not actually from these parts. Would you mind telling us who you are?"

The girl brightened up. "Oh I'm not from around here either! I'm Mary Sue and I'm from Earth-"

"May-chan, kill it." Reds stated dully in a monotone.

---

May smiled blissfully, covered in Mary Sue's blood. Standing a distance away Reds grimaced, attempting to wipe blood off her face but only succeeding in smearing it around. She sighed.

"Now really did you have to get blood all over the damn place? It'll be a mess explaining this." Reds moaned.

May frowned. "I was doing you a favor killing her. And what have I told you about bossing me around? I'm not some kind of attack dog you know."

"It was an emergency. You must understand I was in panic." Reds argued.

"Whatever." May looked at the unrecognizable corpse of Mary Sue. "Heh. Bitch deserved it for wearing an obnoxious shade of pink like that."

"I second that notion." Reds answered, nodding her head sagely. "I find it odd though. She said she came from Earth."

"Let's pray to God there are no more brats like this then." May stated simply. Reds sighed.

"Yeah. But..." Reds stared at the corpse.

"What?"

"I donno. Maybe we should burn it. I have this really bad feeling..."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's dead. And I don't have a lighter."

"But..." Reds hesitated and dropped her voice to a hushed whisper. "What if it... you know... gets back up?"

May growled in annoyance. "Reds," She said getting impatient. "Mary Sue or whoever is dead. Look at her! She isn't gonna get up. And even if she did I could kick her ass back to the grave."

Reds stared at the corpse. "I... oh alright. I still have a bad feeling."

May rolled her eyes and started walking again. "You know any place where we can clean this blood off?"

"No." Reds responded. May pinched the ridge of her nose.

"You're kidding."

"Again no." Reds sighed. "If only we knew a water elementalist."

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Hope this will entertain you some. Next chapter we'll probably run into the Organization 13. Maybe. Depends if I get inspired by random things I find on the internet. I really wish I knew a water elementalist right now.

And yeah. Most people I know all hate Mary Sues. So we'll kill most of 'em. And run screaming from the rest.

I'm starting to wonder if anyone other than Mini actually reads this. Eh. I might take it down by chapter 5 if no one likes it. Cause I have other things to waste time on too.


	4. Quick lil' Notice Please Read K'thax

I've suddenly gotten a whole bunch of volunteers (who are all unsurprisingly looking for organization spots) and I just wanna say thanks a lot. That sure made me feel loved.

I just have a little something to ask that I probably should have mentioned earlier (please forgive me- I'm an airhead in more ways than one). When asking for a spot, state what you wanna be called, what element you wanna use (please use one of the original ones: ie water, fire, space , time, ect) and if you have a particular weapon that you wanna use (or just tell me to wing it: that's why May has a board with a nail). Please note that at this time elements for #s 3, 4, and 11 are out (sorry, a pal of mine just asked for electricity and if you couldn't figure out May is gonna use ice I really can't blame you). Other then that I just wanna say thanks for reading and if I don't update in the next 3 days I blame it all on my friggin midterms.

Oh, and extra love and friendship to Kirxa and Mackie (ChibiToph and Bmangaka respectively). And of course Mini, who was the only reason I kept writing chapter 2. Let's all pry I don't screw stuff up.

Love and Peace, _Reds_


	5. C4: As If Things Weren't Bad Enough

Kingdom Hearts is not mine. No one is my bitch either (unfortunately). But I do claim myself responsible for screwing up their personalities in weird ways. Hey guys if you want me to make you behave like you usually do email me. I don't bite. I kinda like getting to know people so that I get their OCs right anyways.

ON WITH THE CHAPTAH!

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Chapter 4 As If Things Weren't Bad Enough

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"Waoh. Awesome!" Reds blinked. Someone behind her just screamed. In joy. At blood. And why was that voice familiar?

"Bones?" May said in confusion, turning around. Reds gasped and spun around. Indeed it was Bones.

"May! Reds!" Bones yelled happily running up to the two of them, dragging some guy along with her. "Look what I found!"

"I'm a what?" The boy asked in confusion, somewhat offended. Reds giggled.

"Sweet! You found a dude!" Reds said pointing.

"My name is Minishear." The boy said only to be ignored on the most part.

"Yeah I know! And he can float! And walk on the ceiling!" Bones yelled. May raised an eyebrow.

"Sweet! We have a Xiggy!" Reds yelled.

"Don't call me that." Minishear protested.

"How 'bout Two? Cause you're number two." Reds asked after a moment of thought.

"Fine." Two said, resigning him to his new name.

"That's great and all but what the hell are you talking about?" May asked in annoyance.

"She's obviously referring to the organization 13." Two stated dully. Reds nodded and then clapped her hand together.

"Idea! I got an idea!" Reds yelled then jumped up and down excitedly.

"What?" May asked. "And how much sugar did you have before we died?"

Ignoring the last comment (cause May knew well that Reds drank tea with half a cup of sugar in it almost daily) Reds pointed at Two. "Wear an eye patch." Two blinked, shrugged and summoned an eye patch out of nowhere.

"How do you do that?" May asked in confusion.

"Power over space, bitch." Reds interrupted. Then she blinked. "Bones what are you doing here?"

"Eh. Zapping people." Bones replied.

"Zapping?"

"With electricity." Bones finished proudly.

"Ah. Wait how did you find out you could do that?" Reds asked.

"Me and Two were in an airport with a bunch of security guards that had rocket launchers. Then Two did this thing with darkness and we ended up here." Bones said, summing up Two and her story. Reds chuckled as she felt May's temper raising.

"Heh. So we just gotta fight to figure it out?" Reds asked nervously.

"Didn't I suggest killing those brats?" May snarled.

"Yeah but-" Reds never finished as she found her mouth frozen over by an inch thick layer of ice. May blinked and then smirked.

"Well I suppose since you helped me find my power I'll let you off the hook." May said sarcastically. Reds clawed at the ice on her face.

Bones chuckled. "Poor Reds. Now she can't talk."

"Only thing she's good at doing so I suppose it is kind of unfortunate. For her." May said.

"Aren't either of you gonna help her?" Two asked.

"No." The girls responded simultaneously, going back to watching Reds struggle. Two shrugged and joined them. It took about five fun filled minutes for Reds to finally get the ice to melt.

"Bitches. All of you." Reds snarled at the onlookers. Bones giggled and Two smiled innocently.

"You deserved it for making me wait to find out I control ice." May said simply.

"Hey I still don't know what I have. Don't blame me." Reds whined.

"I'll blame you all I want." May said. Reds stuck out her tongue.

"Whatever. You're all under my leadership until we find our number one." Reds said shrugging.

"Who decided that?" May asked skeptically.

"The rule of dibs." Reds said as if it were obvious.

"The rule of dibs?" Two asked.

"Dibs! I get leadership!" Reds yelled loudly. "See? Now I'm leader. You were the one to suggest it Two."

May rolled her eyes "Immature."  
"So what do we do leader Reds?" Bones asked.

Reds tapped her chin. "Well we need to find the Superior. So I say we look for Superior."

"How do you know there'll be a Superior or whatever?" May asked in annoyance.

"Simple. There are four of us. We just need to find eight more. And one of those eight ought to have power over nothingness. And that's the Superior." Reds said, crossing her arms.

"This is getting a bit farfetched." Two pointed out.

Reds laughed. "Oh yeah. And being able to summon stuff out of air isn't? Hey summon something fun will ya?"

"Sure." In an instant there was a piano floating a couple of feet away from them.

"Sweet!" Bones yelled.

"A piano?" Reds asked, somewhat surprised.

"A piano. It's my weapon." Two answered.

Bones nodded. "He uses it to smash people."

"Cool. Can you play it?"

"Yep."

Reds grinned. "Awesome. I love music."

All the sudden there was a yell from one of the alleyways leading to the sandlot.

"More?" May asked, licking her lips and summoning her plank of wood. Bones whipped out carving knives and Two readied the piano.

"You know that bad feeling I was having? Well it's getting worse." Reds said nervously. She pulled her battle staff out and prepared for battle.

"You have a stick?" Bones and Two asked in surprise at her weapon.

"No its a- oh never mind. Here it comes." The clouds overhead darkened as four figures locked in battle charged into the sandlot.

---

You guys are so freaking lucky you're getting something today. My internet crashed yesterday so I was reading mail on a pal's computer and I told most people I'm inserting I'd get a chapter up by Thursday/Friday because I was hoping to get a new wireless adapter by then. BUT THEN my dear Mum showed up did this thing and the internet is working again. So yeah. All you bitches out there WORSHIP MY MUM!

And me. But anywho.

I'm sorry to those who haven't shown up in this chapter (but don't worry you get to show up in a fight scene next chapter) but I couldn't fit you all in to this one. I don't cram chapters. I make them nice and good feeling to me cause I personally don't think you guys wanna read on and on forever (like LotR), nor do you wanna read something that looks like it was written with as few words as possible. Mini popped in and I felt that he was the most likely to be able to handle Bones without the two killing each other (cause I sense strong "let's kill stuff" in all the rest of you much like May-chan). And they came from an world that is a airport. With rocket launcher security. Now THAT would get rid of terrorism if you ask me. I have no idea where I pulled that out of but I find it somewhat amusing.

Let me note that this is the new list of powers you can't have: space, wind, ice, water, electricity, and light (keyblades. whatever. Roxas' power is pretty stupid in my opinion). A Sora, Kairi and Xenahort are still needed if you're interested.

Next chapter will be up ASAP. I know I'm all antsy about it too. And if you don't know who they're fighting here's a hint.

It starts with Gary.


	6. C5: It Begins With Gary

Kingdom Hearts... screw this. I'm not doing this every fucking chapter. You should know the drill anywho. People belong to selves and so fourth. I'll just edit the fisrt chapter in a day or two.

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Chapter 5: It begins with Gary

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A blue eyed, blonde boy charged into the sandlot duelweilding two keyblades, one a silver key with dark red chains that spiraled around the handle and one a golden key with light blue metal that spiked out like a beyonette. He snarled, swinging his keyblades wildly at three figures that ran around them. It was as if they were more of a dance then a fight.

There was a girl branishing a sword that's blade shined white while it's handle was night black that darted in and out of range. Another girl held a keyblade that looked as if it were made from glass though its handle was copper. A third girl ran around them casting offensive magic at the boy with a silver staff that shined a bright red for every spell casted.

"I will kill you, for those who have fallen to darkness are doomed to be evil!" The boy cried lashing out at the other keyblade weilder who promply blocked him.

"Kill him! His fucking nuts!" Reds ordered her group, though it wasn't necessary at all; May charged in shooting shards of ice at him while Bones' knives hit their mark, slashing open his arms and cutting through his clothes. The three other fighters quickly reconized their new allies and the spell caster knocked the boy around with a thundergra spell leaving him open for Two to smash the piano on top of, quickly ending the fight.

"That was kick ass." The sword weilder remarked. Bones nodded and May smirked.

Reds smiled. "Yeah. That it was." Then she remembered her mission and went down to business. "I am the current leader of the Disorganization of 13 which is currently missing 8. Would any of you happen to be the Superior?"

The keyblade holding girl dismissed her weapon. "Well I don't know any Superiors but I'm Xana and I'm a nobody."

The swordweilder spoke up. "I'm also a nobody and I control water. My name is Kirxa."

"I'm Mackie." The wizard said. "I'm not a nobody, but I'm Xana's sister and I'd like to join the Disorganization."

"No. I can't let you do that." Reds said simply. Bones and May looked surprised.

"Why not?" Two asked. "It wouldn't hurt to have another person hanging around."

"Now that I can agree with." Reds said nodding her head. "But she's not a nobody. So she can't join the Disorganization. I mean what would a group of nobodies be if the members had hearts? But I'll tell you what I can do. I'll change our name to the Disorganization 13 and a Wizard."

"The Disorganization and..." Mackie said, somewhat surprised by Reds' stupidity.

"A wizard." Reds finished. "So welcome to the gang."

"This is nice and all but I'd like to know who we were fighting." May remarked changing the topic.

"That guy said his name was Gary Stu." Kirxa said. Reds twitched slightly.

"Gary Stu?" Bones repeated.

"Yeah. He was trying to kill us because we were nobodies." Xana continued.

"And cause I was siding with them." Mackie added.

Reds crossed her arms. "This... is bad." She muttered. The she pointed to the lump of flesh that was once Mary Sue. "See that over there? That's Mary Sue. Something bad is going down and I don't like it. I think we should leave this world."

"What if the Superior or any other members are here? I mean there's 6 of 13 of us just on this world already. There might be more around here." Bones pointed out. There was silence in the group.

"I think... if they're here and sane... they'll leave after they run into one or more of these things." Reds said, picking out her words carefully.

"One... or more?" May asked quietly, then snapped back to her normal self. "Reds, don't be stupid. There was only one Mary Sue and only one Gary Stu. There are not gonna be any more. We just killed them!"

"They may not have the same name... and they may not have the same face. Nor the same voice or clothes or goal. But they're still what they are! Freaking monsters!" Reds yelled.

"Yeah." Two added. "If you've ever read things in the fandom you find for every Sue made there are five more out there. They just keep multiplying."

"But this isn't the fandom." Xana said. "We're really here. Right?"

"Of coarse we are." Reds commented. "And so are they. Sues... they must represent the disire of every fan to get in a cannon's pants or be the main character. We survived as we did because we are the ambistion of our former selves making us nobodies but..." All the sudden she paled. "Oh Norse gods and black magics... what if like nobodies and heartless they're just a part of a person?"

"What?" May asked slightly confused.

"You mean... that there might be Sues of us too?" Mackie asked. Reds didn't reply.

"This is rediculous." May said, breaking the group out of the terrorifed trace they were caught in. "Reds you have no proof that your theory is true. And the rest of you... you're letting her play you like a fiddle."

"I don't know how to fiddle, May-chan. I can only play classical-"

"Shut up Reds! That's not the point!" May yelled. "The point is that we have to look around here for the rest of the nobodies."

Reds smirked deviously. "But May-chan. If my Sue theory is false then how can my Disorganization 13 theory possibly be true?" There was silence.

"She has a point." Two said. "And even if she didn't, how do we know that the rest of us are here?"

May sighed. "Fine. We'll go. But don't blame me if we get in a worse situation."

--------------

Back story and shit next time kiddies. My fingers are numb cause this room is freezing!!

Anyways yes. We are now officially the Disorganization and a Wizard until I change it. Which will be soon. We'll just cut out and a wizard part and if anyone asks Mackie is following us around cause Reds told her to. And yeah. Mary Sues are all those fangirlish/boyish desires that lurk in the pits of all our hearts. The more insane fantasies one has, the more powerful they become.

So stop idolizing yourself or you'll create a monster! Just kidding.

This chapter feels so short but I'm kinda lazy. And I don't feel like writing the intro to the next world yet. And I don't think the characters feel comfortable enough to sit down and discuss their adventures so far with each other at the moment.

Hope the battle scene didn't suck too bad. I really tried. And then I found it kinda boring and no one wants to read pages of fights.

Looking for more members as always. Let's list the numbers taken: 2,3,4,6,9,11, and13. And there will be no more people who are not nobodies in the disorganization. If you wanna have a heart then you're gonna have to be a good guy or a heartless grandmaster.

Did I mention how hard it is too get all of you guys lines without leaving someone out too long? It's really hard. So don't get insulted. And getting all your personalities down the first time with only a couple of chats to assist in character development is a _real_ bitch. So please, if I screw up your personality PM me, tell me how you act, and we'll just say that the stress of fighting for your life against Sues was making you act weird. Love you all.

Oh and I'm gonna take a small break to really think through the next part of the plot for a filler catching up on Enigma.


	7. Enigma Adventures: filler 1

Enigma is not mine. He's me bro. Kingdom Hearts belongs to the hobo at the corner of my block. Or so he says...

WARNING: Those of you who don't like hearing cultist phrases or names of cultist gods don't read further. Not trying to insult anyone here. And don't freak and yell "ZOMG CULTIST!". Please. I don't believe in any gods. Just cause I know my Lovecraft doesn't mean I worship it.

Cthulhu belongs to Lovecraft. And them freaky cultists.

-------------

Adventures of Enigma: _Cthulhu Fhtagn_ for No Sacrifice

-------------

Enigma let out a sigh of content. "Beating up a bunch of old ladies has NEVER been quiet as satisfying." He declared to himself, swinging an rusty, iron keyblade over his shoulder. He looked around himself observing what seemed to be a normal American suburban neighborhood. Enigma dismissed his weapon and walked down the sidewalk hoping to run into something that would amuse him. "I wonder if this place has a temple for Cthulhu." He muttered to himself, then smiled. "Heh. That would drive Reds insane. She go on a rant about how Cthulu ain't a Elder god and thus is worthless compared to Nodens." He suddenly stopped. "Wait a sec. Where's Reds?"

Suddenly it hit him. "DEAR SWEET GOD! I LOST MY BABY SISTER! MY MUM'S GONNA KILL ME!!!" He hyperventilated for a moment before attempting to use logic in the situation.

"Ok let's see. I've just survived my world's cataclysm.. The chances of my sister surviving are little to none. The chances of my mum surviving, finding me, and then killing me are even less." Enigma muttered aloud. "So if I got my facts straight... I'm in the clear." He sighed in relief. "Ok now that that's over and dealt with, I am gonna go find something to eat. Beating up old ladies sure wipes ya out."

---

Enigma glanced around the interior of the McDonald's he stepped inside of. He walked to an empty table and lifted up a napkin box, inspecting it critically for whatever reason in his head told him to.

"What the hell are you doing?" Enigma whipped his head up to come face to face with the manager who, as it happened to be, was none other than Squall.

"Hello good sir and/or madam. How may I help you?" Enigma replied as courteously as he could. The manager lifted an eyebrow.

"Did you just suggest I have two genders?" Squall asked in confusion and anger.

"Why yes. Yes I did. What are ya gonna do about it? Bitch." Enigma asked, grinning insanely.

"Are you gonna buy something or am I gonna have to kick you out?" Leon snarled.

"Oh GOD! This is just like that fic! Next thing you're gonna do is drag me into the back room and rape me!" Enigma yelled loudly, disturbing the few customers that were there. A small child asked her mother what rape meant as the woman picked up the child and fled from the building.

Squall opened and closed his mouth several times in confusion, embarrassment and not being trained how to handle the situation he was currently in by the small booklet called 'How to be a manager' he was given when he got the job. "The HELL?!" He finally managed.

"The only solution in all of this is to sacrifice you to Cthulhu and hope he has the mercy to rid the world of gays that want my ass!" Enigma cried, summoning his keyblades.

---

Enigma later left McDonalds with a large fry and a fresh coat of blood on his face.

-------------

I feel the need to talk about reviews first cause to tell you the truth the last couple made me sit down, think, and cry at my own stupidity. And remind me to take my meds. Thanks guys.

To Obessive Gamer Chick, YOU ARE THE NEW SUPERIOR! W00t! And this chapter was made with my brother and I really don't feel like messing with it to make it longer/more descriptive. Next chapter I'll try harder on. Oh and curses? I'll try to make this fic less Cid approved from now on if you know what I mean. But May-chan tends to curse with amazing frequency so don't expect it to really go away. Just keeping it real.

To Anthropophagus Ryu, ... you'd think I'd know that kind of thing since I've memorized each organization member, number, title, element, and weapon. But apparently I messed up the order of Marluxia and Larxene. How the hell did I screw that up? My life and anything closely related to it is a lie. Whatever. Thanks for enlightening me. And yeah, Sues are meant to scare the crap outta mortal souls.

To Minishear, if I wasn't mad would this fic be any good? I have to be off my rocker for my style to work for, no sane creature would ever conceive such bizarre ideas and share them with the world and its dog. But I'll take the world mad in your reviews the same as a prom queen would take the word pretty and simply drown myself in the happy, funny feeling I get when I am complemented.

and now that I'm done wasting your time and space...

Yeah. I wrote that with Enigma. And yeah. I hate Cthulu. Bastard Great Old One. Nordens is so much better. Elder Gods rock Great Old Ones asses _and_ tentacles.

Cthulhu also owes Enigma 50 bucks apparently but I'm not gonna ask.

"Cthulhu Fhtagn" translates roughly into "Cthulhu Waits". Comes from "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu Rl'yeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" or "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming". Don't ask, I'm not really a cultist. I just read a bit of weird stuff when my brother started reading Lovecraft.

Spots open, as always. 1,2,3,4,6,9,**12**, and 13 taken. Much love all around.

Side note 13 reviews. **13**. I gotta thank you guys. 13 is a special number so I'm gonna um... say thanks. Oh here's an idea! All you reviewers out there will help me pick the world we visit next. I'm currently thinking about Nightmare Town, Atlantica, or Traverse Town **but** if you shout out another idea I might consider so long as it doesn't screw up the plot.

Love you all. Hope this doesn't disturb people.


	8. C6: And the Plot Thickens

Kingdom Heartsnot mine.

People equal not mine.

Reds insanity.

Got it memorized? No. Well, screw you.

------------

Chapter 6: And the Plot Thickens

------------

Reds smiled. "So I won over May-chan's nonexistent heart once again. Yosh."

"Say anything gay like that again and I'll murder you." May growled.

Two sighed. "Do they do this often?" He asked Bones.

"Yep. It's funny." Bones answered watching in interest as May summoned her weapon and eyed Reds wearily.

"Where are we going?" Xana asked, causing everyone to stop what they were doing.

"Halloween Town? Yeah that sounds good." Reds said simply. Many of the others nodded in agreement.

"I think Hallow Bastion would be more sensible. When you think Kingdom Hearts Hallow Bastion, Twilight Town, Destiny Islands, and Traverse Town tend to come to mind." Two pointed out. Another wave of agreement passed over most of the Disorganization.

"But!" Reds yelled excitedly. "But I'm leader. Let's go to Halloween Town first to see if the Sues have invaded Disney stages, assess the situation, and then go to these places that sound like they're gonna be Sue hot spots."

"That would make sense." Mackie agreed.

"Let's go to Hallow Bastion! I want to fight more Sues!" Kirxa argued. "Besides, what makes you leader?"

"I am leader because I called dibs on leadership, number nine. Besides I out rank everyone but Two here." Reds explained. "And he was the one to suggest rule of dibs."

"I did not." Two countered. "And I say we go to Hallow Bastion first."

Reds frowned. "But Two... it'll be just a quick visit. Please? And then we can go to Hallow Bastion and all the other Kingdom Hearts worlds."

Two sighed. "Fine. We'll go to Halloween Town." Two opened a portal and they all left Twilight Town. As the portal closed a girl on top of the roof smirked.

"This should get interesting. I should inform the Master of these nobodies... but where would be the fun in that?"

---

Our seven protagonists stepped out onto a curled hill in the middle of a graveyard. Reds smirked as she saw her team mates new appearances. Bones was now a zombie, Two looked like Seymour, Xana and Mackie were both vampires, Kirxa was a mummy. She lifted an eyebrow as she noticed May was unchanged.

"May-chan..."

"What?" May asked, annoyance evident in her voice.

"... nevermind." Reds finished, shaking her head. "I really don't want to know." She looked down at herself to find that she was a skeleton.

"Well this is odd." She muttered.

Reds looked at Two. "Do you look like Seymour because you're an insane, evil bastard that secretly wishes to wipe out all life so everyone is free of worry or some crap like that?"

Two blinked. "No. It's because I'm supposed to be a ghost, Seymour died and I have power over space."

"Hey does anyone else think this place looks a bit weird?" Bones suddenly asked, preventing a strange conversation from arising. Everyone looked around for a moment.

"Not particularly." Xana commented after a moment, but Bones was unconvinced.

"No. Something is definitely wrong here. We're not in Halloween Town." Bones confirmed.

"Bones did I ever mention you're insane? Cause you are. We are most certainly in Halloween Town." Reds said to her companion. "What's wrong here anyways?"

"I dunno. It just doesn't look like it." Bones said simply. Reds and the other scanned the landscape once again wearily.

"It's the same as when I played the game." Kirxa announced bored.

Bones shook her head. "It just doesn't feel right."

Reds sighed. "We're getting nowhere here. Let's get to town." The others agreed and left the graveyard with the feeling that something bad was going to occur at any moment.

---

Our wonderful band of heroes arrived at the entrance of the creepy, gothic town to find something else disturbing. The town seemed to be filled with characters that they had never seen before. They beat a hasty retreat behind a bunch of tombstones and dead trees.

"This is bad. The place is filled with Sues." Two whispered loudly to the group, peaking over a tombstone.

"Let's just kill them." Kirxa growled summoning her sword. May and Bones nodded summoning their weapons.

"Wait a sec,guys! They have a huge number advantage. Plus I think there're more than just plain old Sues down there." Reds hissed to the over excited fighters.

"You mean-" Xana started.

"That like heartless and nobodies there are different types?" Mackie finished. Reds nodded and pointed from behind a tree.

"Look a good lot of 'em are blondes and seem to be fairly content here," She said then pointed to another Sue. "But see that one? It has black hair and looks miserable like a... like a..."

"Like an emo." Bones said. "So...?"

"So that mean... it whines and cuts itself more than other Sues... wait there has got to be something that makes them tougher though. I mean think of videogame terms, enemies only get tougher!" Reds muttered mostly to herself. The group stayed silent for a few moments.

"This is getting us nowhere." May muttered. Kirxa nodded.

"Fine, fine." Reds growled. "Let's all just run out there and beat the crap out of all those bitches. Just watch out for the Emo Sues cause there's no telling what they can do. Everyone,savvy?" The disorganization nodded and pulled out their weapons.

"God I wish I had a guide book for this."

---

The ragtag team of nobodies charged from their hiding spot down to the center of Halloween Town, shouting battle cries. The Sues closest to them were in shock and were quickly mowed down. As the first Sues dropped others swiftly ran into combat, drawing their keyblades and shouting battle cries.

May shot shards of ice and Bones threw electrically charged knives at the swarm of blonds that ran forward taking down or injuring the front of the group. Kirxa, Xana, and Reds charged at the remaining warriors with weapons ready. As she slashed through one Sue, Kirxa blasted another off its feet with a jet of water and Xana blinded the crowd with a flash of light. Reds slammed the Sues into one another with her boe and quickly found her element to be air- which she used to throw more Sues at each other. In the back of the Sues' small army were the emo Sues that used magic and summoned heartless. Mackie shot spells at the emos bringing down a good lot of them as Two started playing his piano, shooting gravity balls that sent emos flying and knocked them out.

Unfortunately the Sues were much tougher then they seemed. Sues that were not slain got back up to fight no matter how hurt they were and though most of the emos were destroyed they left a vast horde of heartless in their wake.

"They're too many of them!" Reds cried in dismay, slamming her boe into one Sue's skull only for another to take its place. "We're never gonna win!"

And it seemed that she had a point. May was tackled by a blond Sue and they quickly dog piled her. Kirxa yelled out in panic and tried to assist May but was knocked backward by another Sue. Bones found herself pinned against a wall. Mackie was too exhausted to cast anymore spells and swiped at nearby Sues with her wand. Two teleported into a tree to prevent being overrun by heartless.

As it seemed as though there was no hope to win and that the heroes would be blasted into nonexistence by the Sues, two girls appeared on the horizon. The first one who was currently a vampire, was tall with dirty-blond hair falling to her shoulders with dark brown eyes snapped her fingers and five dusks appeared, twisting their way down to the battle. The other, a werewolf, smirked and pulled out a butcher's knife. The amount of dusks seemed to triple. The second charged down to the battlefield and slaughtered the Sues that surrounded May, letting the said girl stagger up and mutter a word of thanks. The Sues, numbers already much lower due to the first attack attempted to retreat, but quickly found their deaths be it by a dusks' claws, a blade, a knife, a piano, or a blast of magic. Heartless also met a swift demise.

All that was left on the battlefield was a single emo Sue.

---

Seven warriors charged at the pathetic emo that flinched back in horror before Reds jumped in front of them.

"Stop!"

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!" May snarled at her friend as the disorganization and their new ally stopped advancing on the lone Sue.

"Are-are you gonna spare me?" The emo Sue whimpered. The creature shook in it's hot topic boots, mascara running down it's sweat and tear covered paper white face.

"Fuck no." Reds announced. "Though if you mean spare you of your horrible Sueish existence, then yes. Yes we are. But first," She said eyeing everyone, "I want to know what the hell is going on here. Where are all the cannons?"

The Sue frowned and attempted being brave. "If you refuse to even leave me with at least my miserable life, then why should I tell you anything?"

Reds chuckled. "Hey Bones. Any idea why he should tell us anything?" She said, teasingly.

Bones shrugged, and quickly caught on to the game her friend was playing. "I dunno Reds. Maybe we should just torture it until it says something or dies. I mean if it told us about something we had to fix immediately, we'd have to just kill it and leave but other than that I'm sure we'll have great fun."

Kirxa smirked. "Great idea, Bones. Should we stab it first, or use our elements on it?"

By this point the poor Sue couldn't take it anymore. "Riku! Save me from my horrible fate!"

"Shut up." May growled, pushing Reds out of the way and lifting the emo by the front of its shirt. "These things disgust me. At least the blond Sues want to be useful to the cannons or do something productive for the plot. These things just want to write poems and spill their own blood for attention from a character." May pulled back her fist, preparing to smash the emo's face in.

"W-wait! I can tell you where Jack and Sally and everyone else are!" The Sue cried out, covering its face with its hands.

"Continue." May snarled, lowering her arm slightly.

"They're in Halloween Town, in Finkelstein's Lab. Y-you have to destroy the Sue lord that's controlling this world's keyhole to return the place to normal and find them." The emo Sue said hurriedly to the group.

"I knew there was something wrong here!" Bones declared proudly.

Reds frowned. "What exactly do you mean by 'return the place to normal'?"

"The lords are using the energies that make Sues to reshape the worlds to their liking. They already recreated this one. I heard it is possible to return the place to normal, but the lord would never allow it. So the real Halloween Town and all its inhabitants are locked up inside the world's heart." The Sue explained.

"So who's the Sue lord here? How do we beat them?" Reds turned in surprise to find the girl with dirty-blond hair sight behind her and jumped. Quiet and straight to the point, the girl had the aura of someone you didn't mess with too much.

The emo Sue shook its head though. "No. I've already said too much. I can't betray my brethren any further." Suddenly a butcher knife was imbedded in the Sue's chest.

"That's alright. It's all we need know anyways. This should be fun." The second unknown girl said, smiling venomously. Reds wasn't sure if she could be more creeped out at that point.

"Oh gods. Please tell me you're not nobodies."

-------------

I was planning on making the chapter longer... then I got lazy. Hope it was good. You'll find out who the new people are next chapter. And they're not bad guys. It's just that so far as circumstances go, they've successfully creeped Reds out.

Enigma was overjoyed with the amount of attention he recieved last chapter. So he thanks you all and wishes you a very good day.

Spots taken are 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 12, and 13. I'm kinda surprised no one's asked to be 8 yet. I thought fire would be popular. I mean come on people, Axel's number 8! And you control fire if you're number 8! I thought people would be dying for that spot. Weird.

And so now we actually have to save the friggin worlds. Never imagined that, huh?! ... Well you probably did. Whatever. Did I spell the mad doctor's name right? I think I did. I better have. I looked it up. I'll be so depressed when I find out I didn't...

I just noticed how my last author note was as long as/longer then the story itself. Weird.

Review, savvy? No one here bites. 'Cept Bones but she doesn't really bother anyone but me.


	9. C7: Break Up?

Nothing is mine. Nothiiiiiinnnng. Not even my freakin mind. So shut up and stop asking you stupid bastards.

-----------

Chapter 7: Break Up?

-----------

"Sorry to disappoint, but me and my friend here are indeed nobodies." The tall girl said. Reds moaned.

"Alright, alright. Welcome to the Disorganization and a... you know what screw it. Welcome to the Disorganization. I'm number three, Reds. That over there is Two is who's number two. Then their May who's four, Kirxa who's nine, Bones who's twelve, and Xana who's eight. And Mackie is Xana's sister so she's cool." Reds said almost monotone before asking. "Who might you be and what are your powers? I didn't exactly catch them during the battle."

"I'm Xade." The knife wielding girl said. "I can create illusions."

"And I am Nexa." The other said. "I have power over nothingness." At this the little group jumped with surprise.

"You're- you're!" May sputtered.

"The Superior!!!" Reds cried happily, jumping five feet into the air quite literally. "Oh joy! I thought we'd have to search the entire universe to find you!"

Nexa blinked. "Well... it's nice to know I was missed."

Xade frowned. "Oh what? Am I chopped liver or something?"

"Of course not!" Bones replied. "We were just looking for the Superior harder cause, you know, she's the boss." Xade shrugged and chopped off the emo Sue's arm.

"Now then. We have to release this world from the Sues before we look for the rest of the Disorganization." Nexa said, returning our heroes back to the grim goal of the mission.

"And how're we gonna do that?" Xade asked, munching happily on the arm.

"We find the Sue lord and kill it. Duh." Kirxa replied.

"We're gonna need to find where it is first." Xana pointed out.

"And before it notices that a good amount of the Sues here have been wiped out." Mackie added.

Reds floated down to the ground, crossing her arms. "Oh joy. A time limit. On a search and blow up mission too."

"We have a larger team now." Two pointed out. "And we're all better fighters then any individual Sue we've faced so far."

"Yeah but I'm assuming Sue lords can wipe the floor with all their cronies if they felt like it. That's kinda what makes you a badass villain in this game." Reds commented.

Nexa shook her head. "This is getting us nowhere. Let's search for the location of the Sue lord. Two, Reds. You guys can search from the air. I'd suggest you start."

"Wait. We're splitting up?" Two asked.

Nexa closed her eyes for a moment. "Yes. We'll go in pairs to look around. It's faster that way. Reds and Two will search from the air. Kirxa, Bones, and May will go towards the graveyard. Mackie and Xana will search around town. So that leaves Xade and I to look around Christmas Town."

"Well... I guess that's a good idea." Reds agreed. "But if anyone attacks more Sues then their team can handle, the results won't be pretty."

"I am aware. That is why I will not permit any of you to attack any Sues you come upon unless they threaten you first. We will meet back here in half an hour. Hopefully someone will have found something by then and the Sues will still be unaware of us." Nexa finished. Kirxa and May moaned.

"No battles?" Kirxa whined in despair.

"None at all?" May asked, as if told to shoot herself.

"No. There will be no battles until we are all together again. Then you can slay however much you want." Nexa said. This seemed to make the task more bearable for the two.

"Well, let's get to work before time's up." Reds said shooting up into the air. The others quickly agreed and headed for their appointed destinations.

---

Reds sighed. "See anything yet?"

"No, Reds. I don't. I haven't for the past hundred times you've asked and chances are in the next minute in so when you ask again, I still won't have seen anything!" Two growled at Reds in frustration. Reds stared at him for a moment before shrugging. She drifted forward, carefully studying the landscape from their position just above the tree line. There was nothing incredibly out of the ordinary within view, Reds decided, except for a flying skeleton and Seymour. A cold, dry wind rushed past them making the bare, finger-like branches of the trees hiss.

Reds sighed again. "How 'bout now?"

"Reds!"

---

Bones walked around the graveyard, examining each tombstone carefully as if they all contained hidden clues. May sighed and stared at the moon from the top of the hill. For some reason she felt like howling at it, but then again she was obsessed with wolves. She fought the urge and growled quietly to herself.

"Well this sucks." Kirxa muttered, kicking a nearby gravestone.

"Yeah. It does." May commented dully.

"The whole world looks off to me, but I just can't find any clue towards the Sue lord." Bones said with a sigh. "Saving the world is harder then I thought it would be."

---

Mackie sighed, leaving another building empty handed. She scanned the streets to find nothing unusual to meet her sight. A door snapped closed and she looked up to see that her sister had just as much luck in another house.

"We've checked all the buildings now." Xana concluded impatiently. "Why have we not found anything?"

Mackie shrugged. "The Sues must be a bit smarter then we thought. Or luck's just on their side. They've left no trace of evidence that they've even been here."

Xana looked around their surroundings once again. "Maybe we should recheck everything. At least until the others come."

"Let's hope they've had more luck then us."

---

Nexa stared at the snow covered town, no emotion showing on her face. Xade, despite her love of fighting, grimaced at the scene.

"Looks like we have quite a battle ahead of us." Xade muttered.

"We certainly do." Nexa replied.

------------

Sorry it took so long to post, but school's been a bitch lately. And relatives are up to visit us (again). God. They come at the drop of a hat. I love 'em, I really do, but could they come just a little less frequently? That's all I'm asking. Cause it bites into my 'me and my fics and games and fun shit' time. And they come almost every three weeks or so it feels like.

Yeah. So this chapter... I ain't really got much to say then it doesn't quite satisfy me. And chances are I'll only update on weekends from now on. Unless it's a short Enigma Adventure. Those might pop up on weekdays every so often.

1,2,3,4,5,6,9,12,and 13 are taken. Still looking for a Sora, Kairi, and Xenahort.

Love y'all. Hope you don't get pissy due to my slowness to update.


	10. C8: Ppl lke 2 Kell Suez

To "..."

I truly really do admire people who are brave enough to go against the flow of all the other thoughts and reviews given to a story to say "Hey. You're doing it wrong. I don't like it. But if you do this or that it will improve you're general writing ability and make the KH writing community better as a whole." I really, truly do. Con crit is wonderful. Too bad you just weren't capable of writing anything that was of any use to anyone like some sort of silly n00b flamer. I suggest politely pointing out what you don't like and giving a or two suggestion on how the writer can improve the next time you review something, while adding some sort of a name for yourself would also be nice. It would make the random flamer community better as a whole if you did. And such a wonderful use of the English language. The word ppl could not have been more beautified if I wrote it in the fic.

With that done and over with here's the disclaimer. I OWN NUTHIN! ON WITH THE FIC!

------------

Chapter 8: Ppl Lke 2 kEll SUEZ

OR the alternate title suggested by Enigma

Chapter 8: Yeah. I'm Mocking You.

-----------

Two sighed with relief as he teleported to the appointed meeting place, Reds far behind stuck upside-down in a tree. Bones, Kirxa, May, Xana and Mackie were already there and most of them jumped as Two popped out of absoluetly no where.

"Don't do that!" May growled, brushing nonexistent dust off her shirt and unsummoning her weapon. Two had appeared inches away from her left causing her react as if an ememy was attacking.

Two chuckled. "Sorry about that." The sound of footsteps grew louder and the nobodies(and a wizard) turned to meet Xade and Nexa.

"Where's Reds?" Nexa asked after examining the group. She was answered by a loud whooshing noise and the said member landing next to her. Nexa cleared her throat. "Now then. Did anyone discover anything of importance?"

"Two is pissy, but that's about it for us." Reds responded. Two rolled his eyes.

"Nothing here." Bones also confirmed.

"Same." Xana finished.

Xade sighed. "Well I suppose that's good. We have one hell of a fight ahead of us in Christmas Town."

Kirxa's sword flashed into existence in her hand. "How many?" She asked, more then ready to battle.

"Far more then there were here." Nexa responded. "And I'm not sure the dusks will listen to me much longer. They have been obeying me because they thought I was Xemnas."

"That's cause you have the same power as Xemnas right?" Mackie asked. Nexa nodded.

"Hey what's your weapon anyways?" Reds asked.

"That's not important. We have to figure out a way of getting past all those Sues first." Nexa responded dismissively. Reds sighed and crossed her arms in thought.

"Why not just run in and kill them all?" Kirxa said.

"That worked wonders last time. We almost died." Xana responded. Bones suddenly jumped up and down.

"Oh! Oh! I know! I know!" She cried.

"Yes Bones?" Nexa asked.

"We can pretend to be Sues! Then they'll tell us where the Sue lord is cause they'd tell other Sues right?" Bones explained. Reds nodded in agreement.

"And Xade's illusions could make us all look more Sueish." She added.

Two frowned. "I dunno."

"Like we have time to think of much else." May commented. Nexa sighed.

"May's right, we're running out of time. Let's just hope this works." She said. Everyone grimaced as Xade transformed them all into Sues.

---

Reds marched a little to happily ahead in the snow for the emo Sue she had been disguised as. Bones walked next to her, attempting to look as though she was brooding and failing miserably. Two face-palmed himself. "We are so screwed."

Nexa sighed, brushing platinum blond hair out of her face. "Indeed."

The disorganization walked down the hill away from the tree that would lead them safely back to Halloween Town toward Chirstmas Town, now swarming with emo Sues and blond Sues.

"Halt." An emo Sue stopped Reds at the entrance of the town. "Where do you think you're going? You must be some of the Sues assigned to Halloween Town. Get back there."

Reds blinked and looked back at the group, none of them able to speak a word in fear of being found out. Well except for-

"Well you see, these nobodies suddenly showed up in Halloween Town killing most of us that were there." Bones said, while trying to glower. "We came to warn the Sue lord that they're coming to um... kill us or something."

The rest of the disorganization held their breath, waiting for the inevitable doom.

"This is horrible!" The emo Sue whispered harshly. "Keep it down. Follow me. You guys can be the suckers- er... the messengers of this news to Lord Emones." The emo Sue scurried ahead of the group, causing our heroes to run to keep up. Bones looked at Reds and winked.

"Looks like we're in!" She muttered. Reds nodded.

---

The emo Sue led them to Santa's workshop and opened the doors. "This is as far as I'll take you. Good luck." The adventurers walked inside and the door closed ominous 'thud' behind them.

"Good luck?" Reds muttered. "The hell did he mean by that?"

"Nothing good." Xade commented.

"Yeah. Chances are we'll all die." Bones chirped happily.

With their spirits lifted with that wonderful pep, talk the party walked forward noticing the changes the workshop had gone through.

Instead of red, green, and all those happy fun Christmas colors the building was black and white and blue all over. It was certainly lacking the Christmas cheer one would expect to find in the home of Santa Claus. Bones and blood were scattered about on the floor and the lights flickered and buzzed angrily. Xana tripped and fell over what they quickly discovered to be a mauled emo Sue's body.

"Crap. Lord Emones or whatever certainly doesn't have any sense of feng shui." May said.

---

In most fictions the author would continue to write the creepy, suspenseful scenery and describe the protagonists' journey from the beginning of the damnable workshop to the boss's room, which for those of you interested in such details would happen to be the good list, bad list room. But because I'm a lazy asshole that like to ruin people's fun and break away from the story for a good laugh and to make the viewers generally angry at me I'll just say that they did shit and got there.

---

Reds sneezed loudly causing a dark, silhouetted figure in Santa's chair to stir.

"Gadzuntite." The person said.

"Thanks." Reds responded. "Not quite sure where that came from, but when you gotta sneeze, you gotta sneeze."

The figure nodded. "Yep. It's kinda like taking over worlds. Just kinda happens cause you feel like it. Not that a pawn like you would know."

"That's enough." May snarled. "You're Lord Emones, correct? Well whether or not you are, we're here to kill you."

"Way to ruin our sneak attack, you two." Xade said, rolling his eyes. She waved her hand and the group's guises as Sues were dropped. "Just tell everyone our plans. I'm sure no one will care."

Nexa sighed. "I honestly didn't think our situation could be worse off. But I'm pretty sure nothing can beat this."

Lord Emones chuckled, still unseen in the darkness of the room. "Really? Then take a look at this!" Candles that were unnoticed until this point flared up revealing-

"Bones?! But-!" Reds looked from Emones to Bones in confusion. They looked almost exactly the same, except Emones was wearing black lipstick and eyeliner, had dyed her hair black and styled it so that there was a bang in front of half of her face, and was wearing more hot topic clothes then most deem healthy.

"Exactly!" Emones yelled. "I am the Sue created from Bones! I am EMO BONES!!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!" Her evil laugh echoing throughout the room and losing effect for every syllable I write.

"Dude, that is LAME!" Bones yelled. "I'm not emo! Though it would be kinda funny."

Reds nodded. "It would. But you're not. And what exactly does this all mean?"

Emones stopped laughing and pointed Reds. "Fool. This means you are up against opponents as good as, or dare I say better then yourselves!" She then broke into more insane laughing.

"But there's only one of you. If you're as good as Bones won't that mean we'll be able to beat you easily considering we have Bones' power plus the rest of us on our side?" Reds pointed out.

There was an awkward pause where the meaning of the words sunk deep into Emones' head.

"Well... shit I didn't think of that. Um... I'll just pass the power over this world to my right hand lackey and go plot your destructions with the rest of the Sue lords. Ta ta!" And with that Emones ran into a portal leaving the disorganization rather confused.

"That was... um... odd?" Two muttered. The others agreed silently.

"I wonder who this right hand lackey of hers is." Mackie pondered out loud.

This question was quickly answered by a rumble and a roar. The disorganisation found the building crumbling to pieces around them and swiftly ran towards the exit. They ran into the streets of Christmas Town to find-

"Oh Norden..." Reds uttered. "That would explain the mauled emo Sue from earlier."

---------------

Ahhh... flames make me feel good on the inside. Mostly because I get to pwn some n00bz. YA HEAR MEH? BRING IT!!

But seriously. Some people just don't put any thought into it. I mean for one ... could have given its self (cause ... is a genderless freak) a name. Even something like "Genderless n00b" has more credit than "..." cause, well, at least I have something to call you in conversation. And we're not Mary Sues. We're FIGHTING Mary Sues. And if Nexa and Xade hadn't shown up, well that would be 7 less main characters and we'd be focusing in on Enigma. We have lame weapons, horrible personalities and we haven't raped or thought of raping a cannon yet. In fact we're not even looking for cannons. And third of all... well it's kind of stupid to point out the obvious. I'm poking fun at these kind of fics. So I have to make a fic filled with OCs. Plus the fact that you use the word... no, not even a word. I don't know what one can consider "ppl" but it sure as hell ain't English. Nor pronounceable. And the review just one looooong sentence with sets of periods. Sets of periods are for pauses in dialect. AT LEAST have the decency to use some CAPITAL letters. It really ain't all that hard. See? It's called the shift key.

... Next chapter we ought to see a cannon. That's my goal for the week.

You all know the drill. 1,2,3,4,5,6,9,12, and 13. TAKEN! Everyone else no one seems to give a shit about.

Well... now that I've ranted a bit here's some more.

The next chapter should be a fairly short wrap up of Halloween Town. Then we move on to the next world. I have a fairly good idea of where we will be traveling from now on. So let's treat next chapter as getting all packed up for a road trip where we'll meet a bunch of cannons in a few chapters, at least one more new OC (#5) and fight them damned Sues. I'm sorry if my updates seem to be lacking because I have a ton of work to do lately. School work, homework, drawing, writing original works, practicing my violin and guitar, and getting over depression. Fanfiction is fun but I have trouble sitting down and getting to it. Hopefully next update I'll have set myself up a schedule and will have a set amount of time each day to write a bit, giving you longer, better quality fiction.

Until next update, farewell! Happy National Dib Day everyone!


	11. C9: Pulling a Jenkins

Blah Blah Blah Kingdom Hearts ain't mine. Blah blah blah nor is anyone else. Blah Blah Blah Leeroy Jenkins is a World of Warcraft player.

----------------

Chapter 9: Pulling a Jenkins

---------------

Indeed ahead of them was a horde of emo sues and-

"Jack Skeleinton?!?" Bones yelled in surprise. For it sure did look like it, but-

"I am Jack Skeleinton, Lord Emone's best friend and your doom! Muhahaha!" Jack yelled and burst into evil laughter. May sighed.

"It looks like the Sues got to him." She commented dully. Reds yawned and sat down, no longer paying attention.

Bones glanced at her. "What's cha doing?"

"Waiting till the boring explanation is over." Reds deadpanned. Bones shrugged.

Jack stopped his evil cackling to gloat and as evil villains do, to explain everything. "Oh yes the Sues got to me and everyone else from this world. They reshaped my existance with Sue energy and made me into a whole new character!"

"You mean out of character?" Xade asked. Jack rolled his eyes.

"As if my Lords could make a character out of character." He snorted.

"They sound like a bunch of ten-year-old fangirls." Kirxa commented.

Jack scowled. "Whatever. Are you ready to meet your doom?"

"No. Give us a few, okay?" Two answered.

"Kay."

Two blinked."Didn't think that'd work." He muttered.

Mackie shook her head. "We don't have time to be awed at his stupidity. We have to come up with a plan."

Xena nodded. "Yeah. I got an idea. Me, Kirxa and May will charge in and scatter the emo sues and Two, Xade, Mackie and Reds will focus on taking down Jack. Nexa you can summon Dusks, right? Well if we can get them to fight the Emo Sues we'll stand... uh anyone good a probability math?"

"Yeah, gimme a sec." Nexa said and paused for a moment in thought. "I'm coming up with a thirty two point three repeating chance of surviving. Though it's notably better then what we usually have."

Two sighed. "Yeah we're so screwed. Maybe we should think this over a bit more..."

Reds suddenly let her eye snap open, not have listen to the conversation at all. She stood up, summoned her weapon and focused on Jack. "Thumbs up! Let's do this." She yelled surprising everything within a hundred yard radius. She charged forward at Jack. "LEEROOOOOOY JENKIIIIIIINS!!!"

May stared in awe watching as the emo sues and Jack mobbed her friend. "Oh my god. She just ran in." There was a pause as the disorganization regained their senses.

"Save her!" Nexa yelled causing the disorganization to rush forward and attack the swarm of Sues.

"Oh jeeze! Stick to the plan!" Mackie yelled running forward with her wand out and blasted a group of Sues with blizzard magic.

"Let's go! Let's go!" Kirxa shouted frantically, attacking Jack with jets of water and taking down some Sues that attacked her.

"Stick to the plan chums! Stick to the plan!" Two yelled over the roaring crowd of Sues, throwing gravity balls this way and that, knocking Sues around and stunning them for several seconds.

"Oh jee, oh fuck." Xade moaned, creating the illusion of several times more dusks then Nexa actually summoned but the Sues slashed through them unfazed. "Hurry up!"

"I can't cast!" May yelled nervously, afraid to hit any of her allies in the swarm of enemies. She created a ice barrier between herself and the Sues but Jack charged forward and started to shatter the layers of ice. "I can't move, with the shield up. I can't move guys!"

"What the hell?" Bones yelled in the confusion throwing knives into the mass of Sues. "We gotta get out!"

"I got it! I got it!" Kirxa yelled, taking down a large crowd of Sues nearby her. Unfortunately by this point the Sues had gotten through May's ice shield and dog-piled her. Within a minute, the Sues had captured the others.

Jack smiled in triumph. "The Sue Lords will praise me for my success. Take the prisoners to the dungeon!"

---

"God damn it Reds. God damn it." Xana growled. The left side of her face swollen and bruised. Mackie sat next to her, equally battered up.

"Reds, you moron..." Xade snarled, trailing off. She nursed her broken arm, glaring over at the Disorganization's number 3. Nexa sighed and traced her broken ankle.

"That was ridiculous." Two grumbled, fixing his eye patch which had fallen round his neck during his capture.

"Why do you do this shit Reds?" May asked venomously. She glared mercilessly at her friend, who squirmed under the negative attention.

"It's not my fault!" Reds whined, sinking into a lonely corner of a jail cell the Disorganization had been thrown into.

"Oh god." Bones muttered, face palming herself- an act that Reds herself had never seen Bones do.

"Oh for-" Nexa muttered in amazement. "Great job. Great job, Reds."

"Reds, you're just stupid as hell." Kirxa stated angrily.

"Least I'm not chicken." Reds muttered, staring at the floor in detest.

"Chicken?! We were planning! You just charged in their like a fucktart!" May yelled in dismay at her friend's stupidity.  
"I take offense at that." Reds said.

"You would." May growled.

"Hey, come on! You can't all be mad!" The inhabitants of the cell glared at Reds unsympathetically before turning away.

"Ok, so maybe you could be. But come on!"Reds shuttered at the silent treatment she was receiving. "Come on, listen. We're better off here. No really listen!" Now no one was even giving her eye contact. "Really! Look where we are! It's great! Perfect for the planning of crap!"

"Reds." May said, returning her gaze to her friend. She glared at Reds, but kept a perfectly calm voice. "We're in a jail cell, Reds. A jail cell. You call this perfect?"

"Well yeah considering that we have a keyblade master and all..." Reds muttered. It dawned on the company that they could escape rather easily and the anger within the room went down several degrees.

"It seems Reds is right. We can escape the cell easily and go back to face Jack when he least expects us." Nexa said.

Reds nodded. "See? I'm not just a moron. I know what I'm doing."

"We could have gotten killed." Bones pointed out. Reds shrugged.

"We could have. But we didn't."

Nexa sighed. "This is the least organized group of people I have ever been in."

May chuckled dryly. "I thought Reds was the one to welcome you to the Disorganization."

---------------

This may or may not be the real chapter 9. Depends on how the rest of the week goes and if I like where this is going. If I take it down, it'll be to resubmit it as an alternate chapter 9.

Sorry I haven't updated in ages. Things have gotten pretty damn busy and well... I haven't written crap. This is kinda why I warn you guys that I'm a lazy asshole. A bit more cursing in this chapter than usual actually, if I'm correct.

I really ought to apologize to numbers 5 and 8. I am soooo freaking sorry. I'll add you asap so if you could just stand to wait a wee bit more...

1,2,3,4,5,6,8,9,12,13 taken. I forgot if any other role was taken as well... whatever. Still looking as always.

Oh. And I got glasses now. John Lennon frame specifically. So yeah. I'm a cool nerd now.


	12. C10: Cannon Time

... Is this really necessary anymore?

KH belongs to Enix. Characters belong to themselves. If I used any references... eh I'm just too lazy to look through. You'll figure 'em out.

----------------------

Chapter 10: Cannon Time!

----------------------

Reds sighed and watched the other members plotting with a bored expression. "So much planning crap lately. So boring. I can only handle so much intelligence..."

May glanced over at her friend. "Don't do anything stupid. I know what you're thinking. Don't."

Reds huffed. "You wanna know what I was thinking? I was thinking about sleeping till you guys were well and done with this crap. I have a freaking headache." She clutched her head as if to emphasize the fact.

"You may have a headache," Two interrupted "because Jack and the Sues beat the shit out of you."

Reds gave it a moment of thought. "Probably. And the fact that I forgot to take my meds before the world ended."

May snorted. "That would explain why you're acting like a stupid bitch."

"And my sadism should come back any second now."

---

All in all, after about fifteen minutes of planning and a good amount of arguing on the violent bicthes part of the gang, our band of heroes decided that they would teleport to a different world and look for back up. Cause thirteen disorganized nobodies and a wizard against unbeatable odds is better than eight nobodies and a wizard against unbeatable odds. Though quite frankly it looked as though victory would never be in their reach.

So the Disorganization 13 and a wizard all marched into a portal to the castle of Hallow Baston with enough esteem to fit in a thimble, along with Saix's patience and Xemnas' sanity.

---

Two looked around the room the nobodies filed into(which was the library doubled as a maze) and felt his non-existent heart sink. "Well this isn't good."

Indeed. The room was filled with corpses and had a good layer of blood all over.

"This is worse than Emone's Lair." Nexa agreed, prodding a nearby corpse of a cloaked figure with her toe.

"Hey..." Xade muttered, squatting down to get a better look at the body. "The cloak this one's wearing looks like an Organization 13 cloak."

"A lot of the corpses in here are either Sues or cloaked..." Mackie pointed out.

Xana pulled the hood down from the body's face to reveal bright, pink hair and yellow eyes. "It looks like some sort of cross breed between Marluxia and Saix... except it's a girl."

There was a moment of silence where the words sunk in and realization took over. Our heroes (along with some in the audience) all simultaneously muttered an "Ewwww."

"Looks like we found this world's new Sue breed." Kirxa said in disgust.

"Indeed. A bunch of weirdoes that believe they're part of the Organization 13." Nexa said, stating the obvious for the readers.

Bones plunged a knife into the corpse's chest and opened it up, spilling blood and guts out upon the floor, disgusting some of the Disorganization while fascinating others. "What fakes!" Bones cried, lifting up a particular muscle. "These guys have hearts! They can't possibly be nobodies!"

Reds shrugged, pulling the sleeves of a coat she 'liberated' from one of the corpses over her T-shirt. "Those bastards! Mockery I say! We shall murder them in their-Hey... this is pretty comfy. Fits well too. Imma keeping it!"

May pinched the bridge of her nose. "Reds... have you ever heard of respect for the dead?"

"Yeah. So?" Reds replied, not paying much attention to what May was saying and instead was zippering the coat.

"... Do you even know where that's been?" May said, annoyed at Reds' insensitivity at the fact she had just robbed a coat from a dead... thing.

"No. But I like it. Black looks good on me. And have none of you ever looted a body before? It's a fun and essential part of not existing! You should try it some time!" Reds suggested.

May blinked. "Well... I have no argument against that." And within a minute the Disorganization had matching outfits.

"I found a couple of potions." Two announced, holding one up as an example.

"Same." Bones chipped in. Xade and Kirxa also held up vials of a greenish liquid.

"Elixir." May stated dully, holding up another bottle.

Nexa nodded. "This is good. We have plenty of healing items now. Now let's find what killed all these Sues." The rest of the group murmured in agreement and with that the group walked out the first story door into the entrance room of the castle.

---

Two (who had the misfortune of being the one to open the door) flinched back as a high pitched scream of glee rang through the castle.

"OMG! Axel! Marry me and we'll have babies and find our hearts and-" The OrgyWannabe Sue's unrealistic plans were cut short and a chakram soared through the air, severing the creature's head off and setting its body aflame.

Reds walked past her flinching team (being the furthest back in the room and missing its effects completely) and blinked. "Huh. Waddaya know? Looks like the Organization 13 is involved in this mess too."

In the center of the room Axel, Xaldin and Xigbar stood poised for action over the corpses of burnt, stabbed, and bullet ridden Sues.

Reds shrugged. "Hey you people! You be friend or foe?" She yelled, waving over at the other nobodies. Of course drawing the attention of a bunch of nobodies fending for their life (and possibly virginity) was not the best of ideas.

Reds shot up to the ceiling, avoiding a barrage of bullets, lances and a pair of fiery chakrams as they slammed into the door which Two managed to close just in time, effectively saving most of the Disorganization from instant death and trapping Reds in the room with three, none too friendly, nobodies.

"Shit! What's your problem?!" Reds yelled flying to the second story and pressing herself up aganst the wall.

"Least they can't get me here. Wait a sec. Oh shit, Xigbar..." Upon remembering Xigbar could teleport from New York to Japan and back if he so felt like it Reds ducked, avoiding a spray of bullets aimed at her head and torso. "GAH!!! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!"

She flew at the nearest door and slammed through it, finding herself on the second story of the library. "Thanks a crap load guys!" She yelled jumping over the railing and finding upon landing that her shoulder had been blasted open.

"Sorry." Two said, pouring a potion on Reds' open wound. "Not too much of a choice really."

"Hey, Reds? Two?" Bones spoke nervously as the rest of the disorganization stared past the Disorganization's 2 and 3. "Is the guy that popped outta no where behind you a good thing or a very bad thing?"

"Depends." Reds said scratching her chin thoughtfully. "Is it Chuck Norris?"

"No."

"Ah. Then it's bad Bones. It's pretty damn bad." Reds answered hearing a click of a safety trigger of a gun behind her.

"Alright. You people are gonna tell me what the hell's going on here, otherwise you can bet your asses that your death will be painful." Number two of the Organization 13 said, carefully watching the group with his single eye. The door broke down behind the Disorganization 13 and Axel and Xaldin walked in, not looking any less threatening.

"Well, you see-" Reds started, but Two grabbed her putting his hand over her mouth.

"Yeah. Don't listen to her. She tends to make bad situations worse." He said, keeping the protesting number three quiet.

"Let me explain." Nexa said, stepping forward and looking a great deal more certified then the ridiculous third member. "The worlds are under attack by creatures called Mary Sues. We are unsure exactly who is behind these incredibly stupid humanoids, but we have obtained information telling us that a group of higher ups called the Sue Lords are planning the overtaking of all worlds in existence."

Xigbar frowned. "So you guys are...?"

Reds finally struggled out of Two's grip. "We're the Disorganization 13 and a Wizard. We ain't Sues and proof of that is the fact that we haven't attempted to rape ya!" Two quickly hushed Reds again and Nexa pinched the bridge of her nose in embarrassment.

Axel looked repulsed. "Well... that is one difference between you and the bitches we've been fighting. Though I wished you hadn't reminded me..."

Xaldin crossed his arms. "How are we so sure you aren't the Sue Lords? I'd assume the higher ups would have more self control then their pawns."

May lifted an eyebrow and glanced at Reds. "You call that self control?"

"Generally speaking." Xaldin said.

Xigbar looked between Axel and Xaldin. "We should take them back to the castle for questioning."

"You think it's safe?" Axel asked. "What if they're... Sues or whatever they're called."

"It would be a bad idea to lead the enemy into our world." Xaldin agreed.

"So the Sues haven't invaded the World that Never Was yet? That's a good sign." Xana asked the Organization nobodies. She was greeted with grim stares.

"How do you know the name of our world?" Xigbar asked coldly.

"Not a lucky guess I'd assume." Reds said escaping Two's grip once more and kicking him where the sun don't shine when he attempted to shut her up again.

"What do you mean by that?" Xaldin questioned.

"Well we're actually nobodies too. We don't have hearts either." Reds pointed out.

"I've heard that one all day." Axel pointed out.

"What? Don't believe me? Check my pulse!" There was a pause.

"You... do realize that we don't mean the muscle heart, right?" Xigbar asked. "We were talking about... I dunno ... a spiritual heart."

Reds paused and checked her wrist for a pulse. "Eh... um... damn and I thought I figured it out. Jee... I feel kinda stupid now."

Axel chuckled slightly. "If we meant physical hearts we'd just need a transplant or something. I mean, nothing can live if it's blood isn't being pumped through its body."

"Yeah but... I dunno. Weird. How do you know you don't have hearts then?" Reds asked.

Axel shrugged. "I dunno. Ask Vexen."

"Vexen?" Bones asked in confusion.

"He's number 4 in the Organization 13." Xaldin stated.

Xigbar between Xaldin and Axel. "They don't seem to have the outside knowledge that the Sues have. Maybe they are nobodies."

"I dunno. I'm not buying it." Axel said, crossing his arms. "How do we know it's not a trap?"

"Truth sirum!" Reds yelled. Everyone stared at her. "What? It always works in the books!"

"What books?" Xade asked.

"Er... I dunno. Any book with truth sirum in it." Reds answered, tilting her head in thought.

Suddenly there was a cry from just beyond the doorway.

"It's a bunch of Sues! Get 'em!"

-------------------------

And I bring to you the epic failure that is known as our trip to Halloween Town.

The thing about the hearts... well it's gonna be a joke later. If you paid close attention to the beginning of the fic I plan on using a similar joke at the end. But this is just my opinion on it. I know plenty of really, and I mean INCREDIBLY good authors that make nobodies have no pulse. An example of that is Xanrivash, who has written 24 connected stories about the organization 13 which have all turned out to be marvelous.

... What the hell are you waiting for? Go read her fics now!!! She is a million times better than me! If I don't see any of your names under her reviews I'll throw a fit in the next author note!

Oh another thing I have been planning (and forgetting) to mention is the FBI on fanfiction net. If you don't know about it, we (cause I'm the second member) are a group of people out to protect fanfiction from all the n00bs that write really bad crap. I know, I know sounds kinda lame when _I_ say it, but go meet our leader Avatarjk137. He also writes great fiction (no KH though) that you should check out. The FBI is actually holding a fun contest called "The Winner Is You" that you should at least check out. If no one joins I don't mind but at least give it a look. I'd explain what it's about but looking at my description of the FBI, I think it would be best for you to check it out yourself before I mess up your opinions.

As always looking for characters. Now that the list of names needed is shorter than the not I'll write who I need now: 7(Saix), 11(Marluxia), Sora, Kairi, and Xenahort.

Well I hope I didn't disappoint too many people. I for one didn't like this chapters as much simply cause it felt kinda rushed. But gimme your opinion.


	13. C11: In Which I am a Lazy

People own stuff. But I'm just some stupid loser that takes what people own and screw it up for other's amusement. So I own virtually nothing.

--

Chapter 11: In which I am a lazy asshole

--

Reds screamed and ran behind a bookcase just in time as a pair of flaming car tires whizzed past the spot her head had been in. "The hell?! _The hell_! What _AM _I?! Some sort of _target _practice?!"

"Yes, Reds. You have a bull's-eye painted on your back." Nexa yelled sarcastically.

Reds peaked from behind the bookshelf. "Really?"

Suddenly a white haired, red-eyed girl charged into the room, carrying two silver swords. Another girl ran forward catching the tire wheels that magically traveled back like boomerangs. A third girl walked in looking mildly confused.

"What the hell's going on?" She muttered, pulling a deck of laminated, holographic pokemon cards out of nowhere.

"We're killing Sues again." The red eyed girl explain somewhat impatiently.

"Cause they're evil like squirrels." The pyro finished.

The Disorganization by this point (as well as the three Organiztion 13 members) had pulled out their weapons, ready to fight. Seconds before everyone started to violently attack each other in the death match of the century a forth girl entered.

"STOP!" She yelled running in front of the other three. She had short, pink hair and bright green eyes. In her hands was a megaton hammer. "Stop it! Stop, stop!"

"The hell?" Car wheels asked raising an eyebrow.

Xade blinked. "Wait a sec, is that-"

"Xade!" The woman yelled waving happily over at the resident cannibal.

"Marrin." Xade said with a sigh of slight relief. The atmosphere relaxed as everyone slowly turnered to the same page.

Bones dropped her knives, letting them disappeared as they clattered to the floor. "You know each other?"

Xade nodded. "We were friends before Earth was engulfed in darkness."

"Care to introduce yourselves?" Kirxa asked.

"Raven. I use the moon to increase my power." The albino girl stated simply.

"I'm Marrin. I control the Earth element." Marrin said.

"Xire my name. I fight with holographic Pokemon cards. And I can control time." The third girl responded.

"I am Nixol. I fight with flaming car tires. And squirrels are evil." The pyro said.

"Where'd you get the cloaks?" Raven asked pointing at the Disorganization 13's outfit.

"Dead bodies." May replied.

The pyro girl blinked. "Huh. We should of thought of that earlier."

Reds smirked. "See? I knew it was a good idea."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Wait. You guys steal from dead people?"

"Technically they aren't people." Nexa replied. Before anyone could reply there was a high pitched scream.

"There they are!" A Orgywannabe screamed, causing several dozen Sues to appear out of nowhere. "Quick! Save them from the Disorganization!"

The Sues quickly flocked towards the library and as the entered the doorway

_THWAM_

Reds flinched in disgust as limbs from Sues crushed between two slabs of rock twitched pathetically while a steady stream of blood and other bodily fluids ran out between the two pieces of earth. "Oh christ. They're dead, right?."

Marrin nodded lowering her Megaton hammer that she had used to summon the rocks. "Yeah. They should be. I mean their insides are smeared between two rocks."

"Let's get outta here. Knowing those chicks, they'll find some way into this room sooner or later." Xigbar said.

Axel shivered. "Some of those are definitely _not_ chicks."

"Yet they're all proposing to you." May commented with a smirk.

Axel paled slightly. "Don't remind me."

"Ohmygawd! It's Axel!" A girl screamed from the second floor. The Sue instantly died a stabity fate by lances.

"These creatures are getting really annoying." Xadlin growled. He opened a portal of darkness. "Let's leave this world quickly or we'll be overrun by them."

No one argued as the nobodies quickly ran into the portal to find that they had landed in-

--

"Antlantica?" Mackie asked skeptically.

"Scouts had confirmed that there was little in the way of 'Sue' occupation in this world." Xaldin replied.

Nexa looked down to see that she had a black mer-tail. Looking around she found Two and Xigbar were both puffer fish, Xaldin and Reds had obtained octopus tentacles, May who was glowering at a rock was a turtle, Marrin was a whale shark, Xade was a penguin, Raven a sea lion, Kirxa had a red mer-tail, Xire was a crab, Bones an eel, and Mackie and Xana had a blue mer-tails. And of course, no one was particularly thrilled with their new form with the exception of Reds.

"Where are Axel and Nixol?" The leader of the Disorganization asked.

"Down here." The disgruntled voice of Axel floated up. They looked down to find-

"Where?" Two asked, scanning the sea floor.

Xigbar chuckled sinisterly. "Oh yeah. I remember why fire crotch doesn't get underwater missions now. He turns into-"

"AN ANANANANANANOMEEEEEEEEE!" Reds yelled joyfully. She swam down to two bright pink sea flowers and giggled. "Anenome. Eh whatever. I can't pronounce it right."

"This could be a problem." The voice of Nixol muttered, originating from one of the underwater plant things.

"Solution." Reds declared and picked them both up.

"Put me down!" Axel roared.

"'Kay." Reds replied, placing the two on May's shell. May glared at her. "What? It's the only logical place to put 'em."

"Since when do you use logic?" Kirxa asked.

"Logic? Ha! I fight logic bare handed in the arena of Napal." Reds shouted. "Wait a sec. That didn't make a lick of sense."

"Did you just realize that?" Xaldin asked sarcastically.

"Yes."

"... I wasn't actually expecting an answer."

"Enough." Nexa said, gaining all attention. "... I wasn't expecting to get this far."

"With Reds here? Who does?" Two commented.

"Yeah. She tends to take all the attention away from whatever is important." Bones agreed.

"Hardly lets anyone get a word in edge wise." Mackie added.

"I don't remember actually speaking this chapter." Xana said. There was a pause.

"The hell?" Was the general reply.

"Dunno. I just had the sudden urge to say that." Xana explained. Suddenly a black portal opened and out came-

"Awww shit. Why does this crap always happen to me?" A Reds look alike growled, pulling out a bunch of lances that looked remarkably similar to Xaldin's.

"What the hell?" Xaldin yelled angerly. He whipped out his spears. "You stole my weapon design!"

The Reds copy chuckled nervously. "Heh. Yeah... us Sue lords do tend to do that. Emones has a bunch of kunia like Larxene's. Look, eh, this is a bad time. I'm kinda... running..."

"Running?" Xigbar said skeptically. "From what? And who the hell are you? And why do you look like Reds? And what in _god's name _is going _on_?"

"Saix. Violets. I'm a Sue that originated from Reds' other. All your worlds are belonging to us." The Sue spat quickly in horror. "Look I got to-"

Suddenly Saix charged out of the portal in berserk form. Violets screamed several profanities in high pitched shrieks before rushing into another portal. Saix followed her leaving the group silent.

"Whaaa?" Xire finally said, summarizing everyone's thoughts in one incomplete word.

Reds shook her head. "Silly Nixol. She was running from Saix, her name is Violets, she originated from my other, and all our worlds are belonging to them. What the hell Saix was chasing her for though, I have no bloody clue."

Xire sighed. "So I'm not the only one completely lost?"

"Apparently not." Xade commented. "Why didn't she just fight him in the first place?"

"Saixphobia." Reds stated simply.

"Wha-" Axel started.

"Saix. Phobia. Irrational fear of Saix." Reds said as if Axel was retarded.

"Most rational people are afraid of Saix." Xigbar said.

"Yeah. So imagine an _irrational_ fear of him." Reds said solemnly.

Xigbar blinked. "Whatever."

--

Somewhere deep in Sue territory Squall roared to the heavens, "That's my line!" Then added. "It's Leon!!"

Cloud glared at him. "Thanks for giving our position away to the Sues."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "Dumbasses."

And then they were raped by the fangirls.

--

"What are we going to do now?" Two said, simply cause the author needed someone to move the plot along. And we all know Two is the offical supah dupah plot movah.

"Well we should bring you back to the World that Never Was to check to see if you're telling the truth-" Xigbar started.

"-with truth serum!-" Reds added, though was bluntly ignored.

"-but we can't bring all of you. You know... cause if you_ are_ Sues we'll just be leading the enemy right to our base. And that's not good." He concluded.

"We'll split up." Nexa decided. "Me, Marrin, Xade and Raven will go with you. The rest of us will stay here and monitor Sue activity until we return."

"I'm leaving too!" Nixol added. "I dun wanna be a anenome!"

For the sake of plot and the fact that the author is lazy and in need of an update Xaldin nodded. "I'll stay here if back up is sent."

"Yeah, sure. Backup. Can we leave now?" Axel persisted.

Xigbar nodded. "Let's get going."

--

Two words. Clinic Depression.

I haven't been doing well and in all honesty I haven't worked on any fiction because of lack of inspiration and energy. Things will get better. Eventually. But til then work will be reduced to lame jokes, poor plot devices and avoiding my character simply cause I use it too often. I'm feeling like I'm messing up the canons. What are your suggestions?

Christ... I haven't updated in weeks. I'm sorry.

In need of a Marluxia, Sora, Kairi and Xenahort.

And in all honestly I am scared to death of Saix. I still scream in panic when I fight him in the game. _He nucking futs._

Sorry to Nixol for the lame form but I always imagined fire users to have ridiculously useless forms in Antlantica.

So... hmmm. I have nothing to say. Depression does that. I wonder how many people will flame and stop reading?


End file.
